Have dating apps ruined true relationships?

ATTACK ON DATING APPS

The online dating world has become the target of many disapproval by opposing views who suggest that dating through the computer screen is probably not as deep or long-lasting.

Critics argue that online romances lack emotional grounding and are too fleeting, missing the emotional depth needed to build lasting connections.

Furthermore, virtual accounts also face the problem of not being real, which pushes them towards disappointment in reality.

The longer this dissatisfaction goes on, the more users spend even more time peeking at every new profile brought in by the optimism of a perfectly good match.

"The hope of finding 'the one' keeps users endlessly scrolling through new profiles, even when reality often falls short."

There they are, trapped in a cycle of compulsive swiping [1] — yes, that is actually a thing, which amounts to "choice paralysis" [2].

"Compulsive swiping leads to 'choice paralysis,' making it hard to settle on just one option."

This in turn has others terrified of having to commit to anything so that they have the freedom to move on when something better comes around the corner.

PRE-DATING APP ERA

Let's travel back to the time before dating apps were even a concept.

From the 1940s to the 2000s in America, the rise in divorces reflected a significant cultural shift.

Before these days, marriages were based on social expectations, financial security, and family continuity. Afterwards, people began searching for partners, focusing more on romantic love and attraction.

So, choices are driven by emotional instincts; it may appear satisfying at first, but when partners prioritize their emotional needs and personal ambitions, they may end up using the relationship to better themselves.

When these circumstances take priority over the couple's balance, it leads to the relationship's interruption.

Partners end up confused about their current situation, as the couple had completely forgotten what their relationship was based on.

Without emotional self-regulation, people make choices based on immediate attractions, idealising the relationship and setting high expectations, which increases the risk of disappointment.

Even in small social or work communities with limited opportunities to meet new people, individuals would sometimes end interactions with a 'suitable' partner.

Because choices were confined to a small social group, people often experienced a fear of missing out (FOMO) on a better match or worried about being stuck in a long-term relationship that might not work out, leading to hesitation.

This phenomenon is quite similar to the 'paralysis of choice' seen in today's dating apps.

WHAT ABOUT TODAY?

Dating apps haven't worsened how we build relationships.

The critics mentioned at the beginning of this post, who accuse online dating of lacking romance, should reconsider how romance can genuinely benefit the cause.

Superficial connections already existed in our society; these platforms have simply accelerated and amplified a declining social phenomenon.

Despite this, these services are growing in popularity, offering an alternative to our busy lifestyle that limits chances to socialise.

Using algorithms based on personal tastes, they allow people to meet others outside their usual circles, quickly filtering out those who aren't compatible.

The problem remains the same: many are drawn to immediate charm, the "love at first sight", which now manifests in shared profile photos. Such motivations rarely inspire a deeper understanding of the other person and often lead to an illusion.

Even though social pressure on relationships and marriage has lessened, if we continue following old thought patterns, the "perfect match" right before us will consistently be overlooked.